I Surrender All My Life.mov

Video of Mark Hail's song, "I Surrender All My Life"

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Our God.mov

Cover of Chris Tomlin's song, "Our God"

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Whom Shall I Fear?

This may sound so weird, but I wrote a song for the Lord and for satan today. I guess I've been writing it for a while. It's been a process. I started writing it one day after a counseling session. My counselor said that she strives to be the kind of woman that when she wakes up in the morning and her feet hit the floor, satan says, "Ugh! She got out of bed, again!"

Often we put a lot of power in everything else but where it truly belongs; in the hands of God. The enemy sneaks about and uses the ways of our culture and society to manipulate our minds into following the wrong path. He can be convincing a lot of the time and we had no idea we were even heading that way. We can be completely devoted to living a life of Christ at the beginning of the day...but by the end of the day satan can throw so many curve balls and heartaches at us, we retreat to whatever the world has to offer instead of our Creator and Healer!

The truth is that satan tries to trick us into having so much power, but really has none. He can manipulate and lie, but he's got nothing on my Father! God created satan. The Bible says that the enemy cowers at the name of Jesus! By the blood of Christ, I'm free and safe from the enemy! My Father dwells within me and I am completely protected and covered in love. So, how can I possibly fear satan or whatever this world throws at me???

you can listen to a rough copy at:

http://www.facebook.com/SomethingElseOnline?ref=ts

you can try to separate us

try to pry us apart with the dark

you can try to scare me senseless

you can try instill fear in my heart

but whom shall i fear?

whom shall i fear?

whom shall i fear when i know God is near

whom shall i fear?

whom shall i fear?

whom shall i fear when i know God is here

you can try to manipulate me

try to tempt me while i'm in a droubt

you can try a shower of lies

lead me to an ocean filled with doubt

you can try to make my soul sink

attack me when i'm already weak

try to cover me in darkness

but the Light will burst forth and i will see

but whom shall i fear?

whom shall i fear?

whom shall i fear when i know God is near

whom shall i fear?

whom shall i fear?

whom shall i fear when i know God is here

oh you can try

you can try

but you'll never get this life

oh you can try

you can try

but my heart belongs to Christ

you can try

but my heart belongs to Christ

but whom shall i fear?

whom shall i fear?

whom shall i fear when i know God is near

whom shall i fear?

whom shall i fear?

whom shall i fear when i know God is here

Crosses and Fish

A thought...

You willingly wear the cross or a fish around your neck. You adorn it as an ornament on a ring. You take this beautiful symbol of Love, Purity, Sacrifice, Truth, Mercy, Grace...and it lies against your skin for the world to see. You bare it. I assume that you bare it so that others will know what you stand for. It speaks for itself...right?

Yet your actions speak louder...

How is that some of us will display our love for the Lord by means of silver and gold, yet that means so little to the One that died for you...

What matters to Him is that you display your love with your actions...with the calling...LOVE GOD, LOVE PEOPLE, FOLLOW TRUTH

How confusing it must be for those who aren't that familiar with the calling of a Christian. They see our silver and gold tokens of affection and think we stand for Him...but then hear foul, disdainful words, see hate or jealousy or anger displayed, no consideration for the fallen, completely disobey the Truth. We commit murder, adultery, break laws, have sex outside of marriage, hurt our bodies with an over abundance of drugs and alcohol, all the while still wearing our crosses and fish.

When did those symbols just become another piece of jewelry in a collection for you? When did God just become another thing in your collection of life? How is this possible when HE is the only reason you even have a life? It's sad when the light reveals what the dark has hidden...

But it doesn't have to stay this way. Once saved, we are worthy of heavenly crowns. Glorious crowns that are only for His sons and daughters...you and I. Crowns so much more special that silver and gold pieces we wear on earth here....Crowns that are ours because of Jesus' death. Yes, we will fall and make mistakes. But we can choose to get back up and follow His path again.

Next time you gently unclasp your necklace to place around your neck for all to see, or gingerly slide your ring onto your finger...remember why you wear it, remember Who died for you, and throughout the day let it be a reminder to whether or not you are truly living the life you are called to...and if you haven't been...start now!

In Him,

Sarah

Reflecting on Sunday...

So I was sitting in Crash on Sunday night and something was said that sparked in my brain. Kyle was talking about following the rules vs the relationship with have with God. If we are only living a life where we are just simply following rules, checking Him off our to do list, but not truly investing in the Lord, we are totally missing the point. Often I hear students say, "Well I pray and try to talk to God, but I never hear anything... I am totally living for Him...Everything is fine..." Then, I hear their conversations or see their Facebook statuses and posts and see where their real focus lies. They completely contradict that statement. So often we want to have God at our beckon call, and if He isn't, we feel abandoned or hurt. Why do we feel that? Nowhere did He promise, "Anytime you want to use Me for your benefit, I will be there"...that's not how it is supposed to work. That night, I went home and reflected on the question that Kyle asked. He asked, "Where is your heart?"

I ended up writing a song about it...

Going through the motions

Just another day, just another night

You put all else above Him

You can have a chat

When you find the time

Then you call out to Him

But you can't hear His voice

How will you ever hear Him

When He's not your first choice

Where is your heart?

Where is your sight?

If it's always on you

You will never find the light

There's so much more

Than just you and I

Where is your heart?

Can you see the light?

You show up every Sunday

You know all the words

To every single song

You study all the stories

Answer all the questions

Never answer wrong

You question His presence

Why can't you feel him tonight

How will you ever feel Him

If you won't walk by His side

Where is your heart?

Where is your sight?

If it's always on you

You will never find the light

There's so much more

Than just you and I

Where is your heart?

Can you see the light?

I am a size...

Today I went shopping...

Once upon a time, at several different times in my life, this has been a fun past time. Those times are the times when I feel I am the "right size" or a "normal size" for me. For me, I have always felt that there is a "perfect size" and I have been trying to achieve it since I was 13 years old. I have succeeded quite a few times and then "failed" many other times. I am specifically putting quotations around failed for a reason. For so long, I have kept thinking that if I am not this number, I am a failure. There truly is apart of me that knows that is completely messed up...and another part that justifies it. Now, if anyone else is bigger than this perfect size I have in my head, they are not failures...only I am. I tend to be different with myself than with others. Different = Harder. Lately, I have been trying to break free from this number. How can I possibly label myself a number? I am a child of GOD! Not some number in the fashion industry!

Jeremiah 1:5

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart

I look at myself sometimes and think, "Really God? This is what you had in mind when you formed me?" Then I get mad that I even questioned my Creator. What a spoiled child I am. I can walk, talk, speak, see, read, taste, touch, jump, skip, laugh, taste, touch, hop, dance...so many actions I have that so many cannot and yet it's not enough.

I don't want to be spoiled or discontent. I want to be satisfied in a reasonable way. I don't want to be full of myself. But I want to see what God sees in me. I guess one way to start would be to accept who I am and take responsibility for my actions and protect myself from the mistakes I could make.

Today I went shopping and came to the realization that I am not the size I have tried to conjure in my head I am. No more, "Oh I am a 6, but I'm a little bloated right now" or "Oh, I am usually a 6 at other stores..." Nope, I am not going to live in denial anymore. I am not going to keep holding onto those jeans that fit in college and bust my butt to get back into them and cry in my closet when I try them on after a while and they still don't fit right. I am not going to try and keep putting on those 6's and see muffin top and want to punch myself for not working out the past week because I got caught up in work. I am not going to break myself down anymore. I have got to start seeing the Light and hearing the Truth and quit believing the lies that the world and the enemy have put into my head.

Today I am going to proclaim that I am a size 8... I am a size 8... I am a size 8.

I know there may be some people who would love to be a size 8. Well, I would love to love to be a size 8. But I'm not there yet. But I want to be. I want to be proud of my body, my curves and just say screw it to society and the "perfect size" - however I will admit I am weak right now...but I have faith I can get there. I have hope that one day, I will walk into a store, see those jeans on the rack and smile that they have MY SIZE in stock. I pray that that day will come when I have a pep in my step on the way to the dressing room and slide those jeans over my hips and check out my butt in the mirror and be proud of how good it looks in a size 8.

Father God, thank you so much for another day not promised to me. I am so thankful for my life with You, for my husband, family and friends. Thank you for the gifts and blessings you have bestowed upon me. I hope I honored you today. Lord, please help me to be strong in the small moments. In the moments of choosing to live for You and not for my own selfish reasons or vanity. God, I am weak and I want to give You all of me. But this one aspect of my life, my body, the one you gave me, is so hard to give back to You. My will power is shaky. Help me to find ground and walk steady on a path to a healthy life and body image with You as the center. I pray this all in Your awesome name.

Amen

Beginning to blog...

So, I have a bunch of stuff on my mind lately. Just want to put it somewhere. I had to create this blog for a class a while back and I figured why not utilize it. I'm not really concerned if anyone does or doesn't read it. It's truly just for me. I may post some private ones, and I may just put it all out there.

I guess I just want an outlet for several things. For good and bad, for joy and pain. I just want somewhere to put it and get it out of my head and heart. Maybe if I physically see the words on the page, it will make something click inside me or give me some kind of revelation. Not sure...

I just know that there are days when I get so mixed up. Where I get so sidetracked and blinded by so much the world is throwing at me. The things I want do not coincide with the things I actually NEED.

When it comes down to it, all I truly need is my God, my Christ and the Holy Spirit that lays inside me. I am still on fire for the Lord, but I'm not giving Him all of me. I'm at a point in my life now where something has to change. I'm praying that this blog, journal, diary or whatever it is labeled can help me fight through my daily struggles and bring some clarity. I hope it challenges me to dig deeper, pray harder and fight for the Truth and the Light...